Finally, someone gets me

 

Being the organized and fastidious person that I am, I dumped all my hockey stuff in the middle of the backyard yesterday for a good airing out. Trust me -- if the Department of Defense could somehow weaponize the smell emanating from my equipment there would never again be a war.

Yes, I suppose I could launder it. But that would require, you know, effort.

Anyway, so I throw the stuff in the yard and here comes Teddy, a chocolate lab that The Girlfriend insisted we rescue last year to provide company for our other rescue dog. Teddy then plopped down next to the equipment and stayed put for the next 15 minutes.

This is analogous to walking to Ground Zero of the Nevada Test Site and then calling over your shoulder "go ahead and smash those atoms now." 

It probably should be said that this behavior is in keeping with Teddy's personality. His original owner was twice sent to the Big House, resulting in Teddy being sent to the dog pokey -- from which he was saved by a rescue outfit. This haunted past has resulted in a dog who is happy doing three things: A) Barking whenever there's something on the TV I want to hear; B) Eating anything made of paper product, and; C) Finding smelly objects to sniff and/or bathe in.

A new session of my adult hockey league clinic begins tonight meaning that come 8:30 p.m., I'll also have a new helping of wet, soggy, stinky gear. Bon Appetite, Teddy -- glad to know you find hanging with my hockey gear even better than rolling in someone else's shit.

--Steve Hymon