The other morning I awoke to find that one of my lazy rescue dogs was too lazy to get up in the middle of the night and wander over to the dining room table leg to take a pee. Instead, he just pissed on his bed and slept in it. Nice.
In a statement that sounded kind of like "good morning," The Domestic Partner ordered me to clean it up. I dutifully took the cover off the bed and tossed it into the washing machine when it occurred to me that this could be a good excuse to also wash some of the more odorous of my hockey equipment.
So a couple of jerseys and socks and such went into the machine. The obvious moral dilemma: yes, my hockey equipment was in contact with unaldulterated dog urine while the machine filled with water. But after water hits soap, it's a clean environment in there, right?
This was my line of reasoning. The opposite line of thinking would be: how was this any different than going out to the yard and using my coveted #42 jersey to pick up a couple of logs of dog crap? Answer: I don't know. I'm not that smart. But I'm wearing ol' #42 in tomorrow's big playoff game and if it gives me any competitive advantage, so be it.
In related nasal news, my Subaru reeks of my hockey equipment even when it's been several days since the hockey gear was in the car. At first, I thought the smell might be attributed to a dead animal or the remains of an egg salad sandwich I found in the backseat (don't ask). But there was no dead animal and after the sandwich was removed (no, I didn't eat the rest of it), the car still reeks. Even with the windows wide open.
Guess I'm not selling the Subaru anytime soon. Well, maybe if I put it up for sale in Canada...
--S.H.
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