A new hockey statistic: the talk to play ratio

My game last night was at 7:30. I got to the rink about 6:30 so I could spend the hour before the game talking about hockey.

The game ended about 8:45 -- we won, we rule, thanks for asking -- and I finally vacated the locker room about 9:45 after wallowing in my own sweat and some tasty beer. We talked about hockey.

We then proceeded to the bar across the street, vacating the premises about midnight. Again, the conversation centered mostly on hockey.

So that was about 255 minutes of talking about hockey compared to maybe 25 minutes of actually playing it. Thus my new statistic: the Talk-to-Play Hockey Ratio.

Using last night's example, 255 minutes divided by 25 minutes play time equals a 10.2 ratio. In other words, for every minute I play hockey, I sit around and talk about it for 10.2 minutes.

Not bad, but clearly there's room for improvement. By which I mean my ratio could be higher. After all, one of the best things about hockey is that no matter how much you may suck it on a regular basis, there's always something to chat about.

--S.H.